Lily and the Stick
by hauntful yay
Summary: Since every loves Ollivander's wand shop, Lily gets a turn! But as a muggle-born, there are plenty of mysteries as to what a wand could possibly do...


"Dude, it's a stick."

Lily glared accusingly at Ollivander, who raised an eyebrow back and did big eyes at her. She hated people who did big eyes at her—she had a teacher just like this strange, little man, and whenever her teacher did that she was about to be assigned a detention for a million years. Not that she actually ever got detention—she was much too clever for that-- but it was the same look.

"No, it is not a stick." This time, Ollivander wasn't even looking at her as he slid along on his sliding ladder. Who had a sliding ladder, anyway? What would happen if it fell over? Maybe if she knocked over the shelves the ladder would fall over and the strange little ugly man would know how much sliding ladders sucked. Lily grinned menacingly, and then thought about it a bit. Nah, she decided, she was probably just jealous. Maybe she'd ask for one instead. She did.

"So, where can I get a sliding ladder?"

Ollivander did the big eye thing again, but kind of squinty. Anti-expectational, she thought, since the big eye thing meant widening the eyes and the squinting meant closing them. She frowned, and her vibrant brows furrowed even further as he didn't deem her good enough for an answer. Well, she thought, lifting her chin, she'd give him ten more seconds, and then she'd ask again. And again, and again, and again and again and again—Ollivander's eyes grew even squintier at the particular smile slowly spreading across Lily's face.

"You can make one." He said finally.

"Really?"

"…"

"Hm, well I suppose since you said it, the 'really' really doesn't need to be there. Still, how do I make one? Oh, I suppose that's pretty obvious as well; put some wheels on half a ladder—hold on, how do you get half a ladder? Because you see sir, though you obviously have access to a massive chainsaw, I just as obviously do not. So I suppose you would have to make one for me—"

Lily was rather rudely interrupted as a box was thrust at her face. The big eyes were back, though there was a bit more hostility this time, Lily was pleased to see.

"Try this one," she was commanded, so Lily stuck her tongue out at him and put her hands behind her back. "'Tis a stick," she said again, speaking slowly so that the odd little man would understand her. "It won't _do_ anything, so I don't have to take it. Why do you want me to take it, anyway? We were having a much more interesting conversation about ladders--"

Lily growled when the box landed in her face again. This time, Ollivander had opened it himself and shoved the stick in her hand. Sneering at it, she waved it around mockingly. The sparks that flew out of it were unexpected, but besides that it was still a stick. Nevertheless… her eyes narrowed. The odd little man was tricking her, wasn't it? Oh, she didn't like people who tricked her, just look at what she did to Petunia when she tripped Severus…

Ollivander was ignoring her again, staring incredulously at the little sparks flying from her wand. Oh _sure_. Like he didn't expect the little sparks. The probably had a projector hidden back in the rear of his little, peculiar shop… Lily peered around carefully, with the stick still in hand, and saw the ladder again. Ah ha! The ladder was the diversion! So therefore, to find the source of the sparks and thus not be tricked, all she had to do was to get behind the ladder!

Needless to say, Ollivander was not so pleasantly surprised when his newest customer suddenly dived behind the counter, aiming straight for his prized sliding ladder and still clutching her "stick". First of all, the wand shouldn't have chosen so quickly, and second all his stuff was being destroyed. Ollivander yelped as the first column of wands fell down as Lily waved the wand wildly, and he hopped backwards as fast as his legs could carry him. He hadn't had this much damage since Riddle, years ago! No, there goes the unicorn horns--!

Meanwhile, Lily was concentrating very, very hard. She could not afford to miss the projector, as it seemed a whole bunch of shelves were falling down in front of her and her stick was shooting more substantial rays of light. This was becoming a bit too believable, and Lily halted for a moment and shook her stick. Purple goo dribbled out of it. She touched it gingerly, surprising herself with the feeling of wetness. Ah ha! It… actually, she had no idea what was going on. If she was running around killing the little guy's shop, with a stick that was more than a stick, she was going to be in serious trouble when her parents came back from wherever they were. Shopping or something—she hadn't thought to remember the name. They had, however, told her to behave, something she was probably not doing…

Ollivander's eyes got big again as Lily stopped waving her wands in the middle of the chaos (shoot, that'd take HOURS to clean--) stood smilingly, and held the wand back out to him. All his shelves had fallen down, the ceiling had burn marks, and Lily was quite disheveled from her mad dash of destruction. _This one will be an important one_, Ollivander said to himself, sighing. All the important ones were so annoying. He supposed he'd have to tell her though, that she was going to be important, so she could fulfill her destiny and whatnot. Ollivander heaved another sigh and opened his mouth to speak—

"Oi, so when are you gonna make me a sliding ladder?"

The big eyes were back, and Lily just smiled.


End file.
